I’ve written before on the subject of my journal’s integrity. I’ve written about my reasons for keeping a notify list, to which I post private entries on occasion. I don’t restrict the membership to the notify list, it’s more of an added warning. Are you REALLY sure you want to read this one? Be damn sure before you do. It might hurt you. When I first began keeping the journal, I told myself I would never keep anything out of it. It was my forum to do with as I pleased. Then I realized – that is just not possible. Not for me. As much as I like the ideal of being able to tell everything here, of the integrity of the journal being more important than the consequences of it, it’s just not workable. Not if I want to keep the people I love.
Even so, as much care as I have taken to avoid hurting those around me, I did it anyway. I slipped over the line and managed to bang right into a friend before I realized what was happening. Because of that, I’ve been thinking more about the responsibility that comes with having an online journal.
I think most of us start out planning to tell all. We’re still thinking of it as our journal. Until we realize for the first time that people really are reading it. That what we say is impacting their lives. It’s become something more than a journal. It’s taken on a life of its own, in a way. It’s evolved into something else. Something we, or at least I, have never had to deal with before. My thoughts, when expressed in a public forum, suddenly have consequences. Sometimes serious ones. I suddenly have a decision to make every time I sit down to write an entry. Where do I draw the line? At what point do I say, “Ok, this has crossed the line. This has left the boundaries of ‘my life’ and entered someone else’s. The effect is more on them than on me.” I think that’s the line we all have to draw, and many times it’s very difficult to do. Where does your life and your right to talk about it cross into being your friend’s life? Where does your right to comment on it end?
Many of my fellow journalers say it doesn’t end. It’s still your journal. You can say whatever you want to. And that’s true, to a degree. I just think we need to be aware of the line. I think it’s foolish and irresponsible to deny that there is a line. It’s there. I think any of us who have done this for any length of time can attest to that – we’ve seen the hurt in someone’s eyes or felt it in our own. The line is there, whether we acknowledge it or not. We can choose whether or not we cross it, and if we choose to cross it, I think we should be prepared to deal with the consequences. There is a responsibility there. I think that needs to be addressed.
I’m not attempting to impose “rules of conduct” or anything like that on anyone. I’m not trying to say we should or shouldn’t cross the line. I’m just trying to make us all, myself included, a little more aware of its existence and the responsibility we undertake every time we write. It’s like driving, in a way. When you start driving as a teenager, you feel this incredible sense of power and freedom. I have a car! I can do anything! As you grow and learn more, you realize that sure, it’s your car. You can drive it however you want to. But there comes a point where you’re no longer affecting just yourself. You’re affecting your passengers, other drivers, pedestrians and so on. Everything you do affects someone else. It’s as true in the journaling world as it is everywhere else.
I think we should all remember to watch the road just a little bit more.